10 things about the entertainment industry that piss me off (revised)


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Ask my wife and she will tell you, I can get out of control when I am watching any television show or movie about the military or law enforcement. The constant, recurring mistakes and misinformation that these industries put out just get in my craw and I have to yell “BULLSHIT!!” It makes me wonder, don’t these shows have advisers? If they do, what the hell are they getting paid for? Or is it that the directors think that they have better knowledge on these topics? The following are at the top of my WTF?!?! list:

1. Give me that before you hurt yourself:Cops and soldiers are constantly “racking” their weapons. I mean come on! I carry with a round in the chamber all the time. If I had to constantly rack my weapon every time I drew it there would be brass flying everywhere and my co-workers would think I lost my mind. I know that directors love the “click clack” of weapons being cycled but use your goddamn head! SWAT teams don’t stack up on a door and THEN load their weapons. FBI agents don’t have to charge their pistols after they draw them and they definitely don’t have to do it two more times in the same incident! Racking your shotgun just before you kick down a door is f$#%ing STUPID!! Going into an apartment after a serial killer, knocking on the door, hearing him run out the back and THEN racking your pistol and giving chase…F#$%ING STUPID!!!

Addendum: Lets see what else have I seen…oh yeah.

FYI you director types, there is no “safety” on a Glock pistol so a character telling someone with a Glock “turn off your safety” makes no sense. And what is up with that “clickety clack” sound every time someone draws a pistol?? Is that supposed to be the safety disengaging (if it’s a Glock refer to my previous comment)? Is that supposed to be a hammer cocking? Cause it doesn’t sound like that and hell…nobody really thumb cocks an automatic that often.

OH! And another thing, when a Glock (or any striker fired pistol) runs empty, and if by some chance the slide fails to lock back (why do so few television pistols reach lock back?), it will only “click” once. These shows where an empty Glock runs out of ammo and goes “click…click…click..” well…whoever made that creative decision…YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!

2. Oh what the hell why not?:Every Tom, Dick and Harry stacking up with the SWAT team, I think not. If my blood pressure went up one mmHg every time I saw some “CSI”, “FBI Investigator” or “Detective” stacking up with the tactical team to go in and get the bad guy my head would F’n explode!

News Flash. If I saw some “CSI” getting in my stack on a high risk entry he would get a boot up his ass. No SWAT team leader worth is salt is going say…”OK you FBI Profiler with no tactical training I am aware of, or experience with MY team, go right ahead and get in the stack.”

The only thing that gets me more pissed off is when the SWAT team rams the door and Horatio Crane in his shades is the first guy through the door! Hello numbnuts director, the way it works is the SWAT team goes in ALONE!! and when its secure they call the eggheads and Detectives in.

3. Uniformed Cops as props:Every Detective/Profiler/CSI show or movie out there has uniformed cops as “background”. They walk aimlessly here there and everywhere with clipboards or magically appear to conveniently slap the cuffs on the bad guy that the dweeb from the “crime lab” ran down in a raging gunfight…please.

Or its the “dumbass uniform” who screws up the investigation that the star detective has to deal with.

Then…like in #2, when some “hot call” goes out I don’t know why TV cops bother to even show up. You know its the hot detective from the crime lab that is going to go in first and fight mano y mano with the serial killer. Where the hell the uniform cops went nobody knows, they just show up to haul off the bad guy to the station. They must have stopped in the kitchen for some coffee while the hero did all the work.

4. Hello I’m with the Gvt and I’m here to help:CSI and Criminal Minds…you always hear “were just here to help with your investigation, not take it over…” yet somehow its always some profiler that takes over the investigation and gets involved in the shooting or the apprehension. I know it wouldn’t be exciting if the agents sat in the office all day and the local cops were the ones making the arrests, but that’s how it is. By and large FBI agents are investigators, accountants, lawyers and lab techs.

And these CSI teams..it always impresses me how CSI works local, county, state, federal and hell even international cases. Who the hell do these guys work for anyways?

5. Kill em and Leave em:The “profilers” arrive like the cavalry…light up some scumbag and then hop back on their jet and fly off into the sunset. Yeah when an on-duty shooting happens that’s pretty much how it goes..no investigations, lawsuits or court appearances necessary. If you are “with the crime lab” or a “profiler” you can just holster up and walk away.

6. Nuclear Grenades: Some Delta Operator tosses a fragmentation grenade into a window and the whole floor erupts into a raging inferno of a fireball like a suitcase nuke just went off….uhhhhh…no. A loud BOOM! a puff of smoke and a lot of little bits of metal flying about is about it.

7. Crappy Salutes: Need I elaborate? Some of these actors salutes would make a Drill Sergeant break out in hives.

8. Weird Science:No we don’t have computer databases of every matchbook from every club in the tri-state area. No we cant piece a broken bottle together and get a fingerprint that comes back instantly to a known felon (that gets picked up in 20 seconds). NO DNA TESTING IS NOT A “WHILE YOU WAIT” PROCESS!

These shows have gotten so out of hand with their “stretching” of real forensic science that juries have been clearing criminals of their charges because the proof wasn’t “as conclusive as they see on CSI”. Prosecutors even have a name for this phenomenon. “The CSI effect”.

9. Tuck that thing in: Military movies where everybody is walking around with their “dog tags” outside their shirts. Or dress uniforms with improper ribbons or improper wear of a uniform. Come on guys there are books on this stuff. Read one! Then there are the hot women detectives in clothes so tight I can count the change in their pockets. Not that there are no attractive women in law enforcement, but if one of my subordinates came in with her cleavage and belly button showing she would be going home for a wardrobe change.

10. Cover me I’m going in:Nobody ever waits for back-up, sets up a perimeter or gets on the radio. It sucks to share the glory with some dumbass “uniform”. I’ll just go down into that basement with the serial killer in the “woman suit”, only pussy’s would back out and call for back-up.

I know, I know, its just entertainment, but it pisses me off… deal with it! Keep reading for my next installment. This is just me warming up.

NEW!!! 11. Tin Cans and Strings: The woeful lack of realism with movie/television communications devices is reaching WTF?? proportions. First off there are these things known as frequencies and channels. Not all radios can communicate with each other simply because they are radios. So when you crawl into a tank to escape the zombie horde (Yes “Walking Dead” I’m talking to you), the dude on the roof top with a police portable radio isn’t going to be able to communicate with you. Convenient to move the story along, but flat out never gonna happen…even in a world where flesh eating zombies walk the earth.

And then there is the good ole “watch me talk to my wrist” scene. This is where all of our heroes simply have to talk to their watchbands and they magically can communicate with each other. Now…I have actually used one of those wrist mikes operationally. It is a microphone and switch that is run through your sleeve and pinned to your cuff. The switch dangles in your palm AND there is an earpiece that runs up your neck to your ear so you can hear any reply. Most importantly, the whole affair is ATTACHED TO A FRIGGIN RADIO!!!

What exactly is Mr. CIA transmitting with when he talks to his Rolex? Am I to believe that our FBI agents now have wristwatches that are full fledged radios that can transmit and receive? I’m pretty up on current tech…they don’t exist. Some sort of bluetooth device that connects to a radio/cellular system? Maybe, but how exactly is he hearing any reply? I never seem to see any of these “secret agents” wearing an earpiece…hell even a bluetooth earbud would give the scene at a scintilla of possibility.

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50 thoughts on “10 things about the entertainment industry that piss me off (revised)”

  1. I’m not even in law enforcement or military and I agree with you wholeheartedly! I think the part that makes me the maddest is how you said that jury members base alot of their decision on how they saw it on CSI.

  2. I think this is a universal thing for Hollyweird. I remember my dad griping about this stuff when I was a kid- he was a trucker and BJ & The Bear and Convoy were big at the time. He wouldn’t watch either because of the way they portrayed trucks, truckers and the whole 9 yards.

    Like Martial Arts Mom said, the bad thing is the image the public gets from said shows. It’s like they can’t separate fiction from non-fiction.

    Unrelated- got here via You Should Be Tasered. Enjoyed the reading. Merry Christmas!

  3. Dude, CSI pisses me off so bad. I have actually had a person whose mailbox got hit by a car ask if I was going to take DNA samples.

    “Um, yes lady, I’m sure the car left some bodily fluids behnd, and sure, we’ll spend $10,000 on a test to solve the damage to property case regarding your $25 mailbox.”

    Idiots. My favorites are the victims of car burglaries. You know the ones, the ones with nice new car with the pretty interior. The ones that think you’re trying to get out of doing your job when you warn them that the texture on the seats makes it impossible to lift a usable print, and that the print powder will get everywhere in there car, we aren’t going to pay to have it cleaned, and the dust may never come out. Then they insist their car get processed for prints. Sweet, Im n ur car jacking up ur interiorz.

  4. What pisses me off is freaks who hurt kids.

    The criminal mind! I worked in corrections it is hard core. I loved the work, but I had to stop because of my blood pressure and another big time health issue.

    The seven deadly sins are root causes. I won’t even get to drain bamage.

    Picking on old people sucks too. One Inmate stabbed his own grandmother, then burnt her house to the ground.

    Entire families get booked. Yuck!
    One criminal was/is hooked on GAS!
    How does one get hooked on GAS?

    Pyro’s pee the bead.

    I could go on and on. Jihadists are my concern to date! Programmed to hate and kill.

    RE-brain them!

  5. Yes LEO, Military, Medical, Legal, etc. where else have they gone wrong. You would think that the entertainment industry would try harder to create a real life environment. Though we all know why they do not, don’t we? Real life is 99% pretty boring! 🙂

  6. I know that if TV was like real life you would have to watch a months worth of episodes tto get to the “exciting stuff”, but some details like the damn weapon charging are not outside the realm of reasonability.

    Then there is the acting skills in CSI Miami….sheesh!

  7. The points you mention are great, especially constantly cocking their weapons. What the?

    One other one that pisses me off is when people get shot or seriously wounded in some way, they just stare at the casualty! No-one ever renders immediate first aid or even enact some type of co-ordinated casualty treatment procedure! They just stand there and stare or feel the pulse and go ‘we lost him…’

  8. This is funny!

    What’s the goal? Is it to be ‘real’ or make a story look real enough to be believable for the average Joe/Ratings Junky? In the eyes of media execs, it’s ratings ratings ratings…

    My wife is a Senior Chemist who works with the same instruments/machines that the CSI type shows use (she’s a Bones fan too) and she’s always screaming at the TV when they make testing look like toasting pop tarts.

    History Channel use to run a series called History or Hollywood. 9 times out of ten, even when the critiques complimented the ‘reality’ of the depictions, the vote was Hollywood.

  9. Jump Out,

    Tell me about it bro.

    “Sorry sir, your dumbass decision to leave your $700 GPS on your windshield overnight is not going to get 3 detectives, the scientific investigation unit and the Chief of police out of bed at 4am on a Saturday night.”

  10. Some people actually approach actors on the streets and talk to them as if they are really the characters they play on television. These are the same people who watch crime shows and get called for jury duty….brrrrrrrrr.

  11. Not to mention this is the level of influence that media has on our voting populace. There’s a reason why people complain about use car salesmen screaming at us from the TV, mudslinging ads during political campaigns, and young hot girls in car adds… because complaining about it makes it sound like these things aren’t manipulating them…in truth these things ARE manipulating people or else media people wouldn’t keep using these tactics.

    The problem is that the majority of people think that saying “Yes, my baby brain responses are attracted to color, contrast, fun music, beautiful people, and fantastic images and/or statements that aren’t even close to real” and then dealing with it….

  12. My votes for most annoying hollywood depictions:

    1. Helicopters flying at tree top levels when pursuing the suspect. There is absolutely no benefit to flying that low! In fact, you lose all your advantages such as surprise, field of view, and ability to react to unexpected maneuvers. The absolute worst was “The Itallian Job” remake. The best was probably “Heat” where the helicopters stayed at the right altitude, the voices over the intercom actually sounded like they were from inside a helicopter, and they eventually lost the suspects because they couldn’t fly through LAX air traffic.

    2. There are no intelligence officers in any of the military shows. Every mission is briefed personally by the commander of the unit whether he’s a full bird colonel or the CAG or the head of super-secret spy organization. I know all the jokes about “military intelligence” and what not, but in this day and age of hunting down individual terrorists, intel plays a tremendous role and the commander ain’t the guy doing the briefs.

    As for “keeping it real” vs. “keeping it exciting,” I agree CSI would not be nearly the ratings draw if they showed all the “action” taking place in the lab. Same with most crime dramas. But they could at least throw a bone to the professionals by showing realistic procedures when possible.

  13. You punched one of my buttons. Please add:
    -visible beams on laser aiming devices
    -Saying “A-S-A-P.” I’ve never, ever heard that real world. It’s Asap, schmuck.
    -NVGs incapacitating someone when they white out.
    -Handing a weapon to a civilian and saying “you know how to use this? Cover me.”
    -Knocking out, say a sentry, and leaving him because, you know, he’ll be unconscious for the rest of the show.
    -Never accounting for windage; the reticle is always right on the target.
    -“Underwear” body armor that is so unobtrusive you don’t know it’s there until after the hero (or bad guy)gets back up after taking a controlled pair to the chest.
    -Offices that look like the deck of the Starship Enterprise. Where are all the gunmetal gray, US issue desks, crappy phones, and why does every computer run faster than a Cray mainframe?
    -Use of cell phones in secure facilities.
    Jeez, I’ve got to quite before I stroke out. Great post.

  14. Your #1 brings up a memory. I was watching some primetime pap (can’t remember the show) and our hero was picked up as a hostage by some convicts staging a prison takeover. The head convict had gotten ahold of a guard’s shotgun, and every time she’d make a demand or a grim-and-gritty threat, she’d rack the slide to provide a scary emphasis. Yep- every time. You’d think that someone would’ve noticed the lack of shells flying out of the reciever, about the second time she tried it…

    My pet peeve is magazine checks and press-checks, right before the big shootout/arrest/whatever. Dude, we know it looks dramatic and all to be monkeying with your hardware, but if you don’t KNOW that your own personal sidearm is loaded- because YOU loaded it, right before you put it on your hip- and you feel obliged to make sure that no-one-s replaced your cartridges with Folger’s Instant Crystals in the past thirty seconds… maybe you should be carrying something a little less complex. Like maybe a baseball bat.

    My second pet peeve is what I call the “Stacy Keach Iron Skull”. This is when the main character gets knocked unconscious-sometimes several times in one episode- and not only does he wake right up after the dramatically-appropriate time has passed, but never suffers any side effects at all from repeated concussions and blackout-inducing brain damage. After the typical season of Mike Hammer the next season should’ve been devoted to Mike learning to fingerpaint his name in the rehab ward…

  15. …no, Mongo; I’ve seen Ms. Danning’s charms and I’m sure I’d remember them.

    Except for that werewolf thing she did… now that I’d like to forget.

  16. Great comments. Some more that I can think of…

    Taser hits that knock people out…once the juice stops you can go back to running, fighting, whatever.

    I see this one on NCIS all the time…the talking to the watch thing. Ive worn those rigs. You still need a radio with an ear piece and switch attachment. There is a button/switch that has to get pinned to your cuff or is always dangling in your hand. I never seem to see it. 9 times out of 10 they are not even wearing an earpiece..how are you hearing anything???

    Nobody seems to carry portable radios. After a long foot chase and capture the hero whips out his CELL PHONE?? to call for back-up???

  17. gee, I can’t believe nobody has left out the “miricle magazines” that everybody uses in hollywood. You know where a standard M4 mag carries at least 100 rounds and that custom carry 1911 the detective has is issued with a 21 round mag inserted. Although I will say Val Kilmer in Heat kept it real with the mag swaps in the big fire fight.

    Oh yeah, and in the Movie Heartbreak Ridge when the “Recon” unit is doing a ramp jump off of a shithook and the “Swede” looks at the Gunny with almost tearful eyes and says he’s afraid of heights. Gee, wish they would of sorted that out at jump school, or maybe they just woke up that morning and said “What the hell, lets put some chutes on and jump out of a heli and see what happens today”.

    Not using sights. Hate to keep picking on them, but in Heartbreak Ridge the Recon platoons big tactic seemed to be to jump out in the open, do a litte dancing jig and shoot wildly from the hip. Must be using smart bullets or something with laser designator on their boonies I couldn’t see.

    And also I love in all of these movis (such as Heartbreak Ridge) that no losers ever get chaptered out and instead are all put into “special” units waiting for the super trooper to show up and turn them into real soldiers or whatever. “Sure your fat, wet the bed, talk to yourself and have cancer….but we don’t care, we’re the military we would love to keep you around, why don’t you bunk up with the cross dresser without a eye, the backwards country hick who didn’t pass his ASVAB and the rebellious kid who got in with 3 felonies on his record. Oh yeah, and tomorrow you guys are going to be called on to save the free world”

    Oh well, SOMETIMES you get a good movie out of these things.

    1. All true. I think that the “bottomless magazine” has become so common that we just take that one for granted LOL! Although I think that one has gotten a little better over the years as directors discovered the “cool factor” in reloads.

  18. The absolute worse was CSI Los Angeles were the CSI guy runs out the door and down trail to take on the bad guy. Say what, no call for backup (there was uniformed officer there). The evidence was destroyed by his act. On it goes. It is dumb and refuses to watch that stuff any longer.

    Watch military shows, for me, are all ways a nightmare. Forgive me I am ex military and uniform screw ups and bad saluting just piss me off. Weapon crap is even worse.

    1. I just saw another “piss me off” scenario on NUMB3RS last night. Hostage situation on a bus. A fully geared SWAT team is on location…after a simu-shot (crappy at that) by the sniper element the entry team makes entry lead by..THE FBI AGENT WITH NO HELMET, raid vest on over his street clothes, shades in place (and nifty earpiece radio) with his pistol. WTF!

  19. How about the shows set in states that have no firearms registration *at all*, yet the show always “runs the serial numbers” through their registration databases.

    CSI Miami is one of the worst. Florida has *NO* gun registration. Period.

  20. As a car guy, I find it both annoying and laughable how easy Hollywierd thinks it is to steal a car. It may be hard to believe, but in just about every car I’ve ever messed with, there was no fat bundle of wires hanging under the steering wheel to be ripped out and twisted together that causes the car’s ignition to turn on, the starter motor to spin and start the engine (and then STOP spinning when the engine fires), and unlock the steering column and gear shift.

    Heck, I just watched a Jason Bourne movie in which he hotwires and drives an Audi over a retaining wall in a parking garage in three seconds. An Audi? Seriously? Maybe a 1975 Ford pickup. But not a new Audi. I can peel an older GM tilt column in about ten seconds. But the new stuff with chipped keys- not gonna happen in ten seconds.

    Right up there with monkeying with your hardware- the directors LOVE those “Clickity-clack” sounds whenever someone draws a pistol- the common theme now is for the Hero Good Guy to carry a Glock. Heck, lots of cops carry Glocks, ours in Hollywood do too. But the “Hammer-cocking” sound effect carries over- to a Glock..?!?!

    Isn’t it amazing that in every episode of 24- Jack Bauer’s cell phone works everywhere including underground, in a concrete bunker, and in a submarine, and in a typical 24 hour day he doesn’t have to empty his bowels or bladder?

  21. You guys have got to stop watching TV! I mean if you stroke out, my fat lazy ass will have to come off disability to do your jobs.

    I mean, it’s not like it’s going to get done by Hollywood.

    Breathe, count to 10, and switch the set to Doctor Who.

    …And I better not hear any grousing about him saving the known universe in 60 minutes, or “That’s not how you overamp a fibulating gonkulator”

  22. A great post. One of the things that kills me about CSI is how neat and modern the labs are. And how they are apparently olfactory heavens.

    A real lab, or morgue, or whatever, is a filthy shithole, in most places. And the smells are enough to make Marg Helgenburger’s fine backside pucker in disgust.

  23. My own personal favorite is: when the hero take out a henchman (carrying a gun) and doesn’t bother to pick it up a he runs by (unarmed) after the main suspect.

  24. “Bottomless magazines/clips” – gosh, I guess I am one of the few who remember the two-hundred-shot revolvers in Westerns…

  25. 200 shot revolvers? Well, not quite. But there was that one Tom Laughlin movie where he had a LeMat that fired at least 12 without reloading. I seem to recall they even commented on it in the movie, but it’s been a long time since last I saw it.

    And then, how many people did Crocket and Tubbs shoot on Miami Vice and not once was there an investigation?

  26. When I try jury cases, I talk directly about the whole CSI/twelve angry men phenomenon. I tell them that trials on television are as similar to trials in real ones as life on “all my Children” is to life in their houses.

    And I always ask one, “What’s the most important piece of evidence at a crime scene?”

    “Durrrr…”

    “The one that, when you pick it up, the music gets real loud and dramatic”.

    I hate this stuff, too.

  27. Watched the movie “Shooter” a few weeks back. The sniper hero manages to pull off three consecutive head shots from 200 yards with a bolt action .22 without a brace, standing up, IN A ROW BOAT!!??

  28. For at least the last twenty years, I’ve been wondering where to go when I decide to buy one of those cars with the 20-pound can of black powder already installed underneath. You know, the cars that are blown 15 feet into the air and rotate on their length after a couple of ounces of some explosive are slapped under the rear bumper and then detonated remotely? It’s not like the dealers advertise, but they must be easy to get- there’s one on every street in most action flicks…

  29. Dude, our wives could hang out for hours laughing at us.

    My wife has gotten to the point that, when some cop-show fallacy ensues, she rolls her eyes and reminds me that It’s Only Entertainment.

    Personally, I think realism goes a long way. Ever watch the special features documentaries on the Black Hawk Down disc? Yeah, THAT kind of realism.

    tweaker

  30. This was funny to read. As an ex IT worker, I used to get annoyed with the way they Hollywood portrays computer science and hacking, but eventually I got over it, after all it’s just a bit of fun.

    And to Evan Price, how long have you been a car guy? As an ex (and convicted) car thief, I can tell you for sure that with older cars you could/can just rip out the covering of the ignition, tie the power line to… and then touch the starter line to…

    Not that there’s all that much point when you can also get a scaffolding bar and put it over…

    Or even a similar key, put it in the lock and…

    Not going to make it a how to steal older cars, but as a car guy you should at least be able to fill in the blanks on the first one.

    It is a bit comical when they do it to modern cars though, granted.

  31. …And then there’s the NCIS episode where David McCallum’s ‘Ducky’ character found the killing bullet during his autopsy and told Gibbs, “I could smell the buck scent on the bullet so our perpetrator is obviously a deer hunter.”
    … and when every CSI races to the accused’s residence with sirens blaring and jumps out guns drawn and sneak up to the house…
    We won’t get into the one-liners and condescending whiney voiced women…

  32. as a former Marine, I can definitely relate to the feeling of seeing some idiot on screen give a crappy salute, kind of like John Cena in “The Marine”.
    now THAT movie has a shit ton of wrong things. now, in all my time that i have spent living and passing through small rural towns, that have gas stations in the middle of nowhere, I have never seen a Corvette cop car. Not saying they don’t exist, but why would a small town, buy a cop car that expensive? there are many other things that get under my skin about that movie, but, if you have seen it, then you know what I’m talking about

  33. Unfortunately, life really does tend to imitate art. Cops have so often seen cops on TV and in movies clearing running around and clearing buildings with elbows down, forearms vertical, and the pistol or revolver in front of or next to the officer’s face that they actually think it’s supposed to be done that way. To be fair, it does look way cool…and lets the director get the gun and the actor’s profile in the same frame. Even a veteran officer I worked with tried to defend the practice. The next time we ran a scenario, an old, out of shape role player (not a martial artist, or whatever) hugged the wall on the other side of a doorway and, when the officer in question came through, the officer found is own vertical forearms blocked by the role player’s horizontal forearm, who used his free hand for the rubber knife.

    P.s. I can top Glocks with safeties. On the old “McCloud” TV series, starring Dennis Weaver, the Chief of Detectives held up a snub nose REVOLVER and said, “The safety catch on my gun is broken. If it went off, no one could prove it wasn’t an accident.”

  34. LOL, I know what you mean, (its a bit of a pet peeve of mine) but most of the time it’s just poetic licence,
    It’s what the writer/director/producer thinks adds flavor to a character or scene,
    It’s a cliché, 

    If the facts are boring you “cut to the chase” it’s about entertainment, not education, and sometimes it requires a degree of “poetic licence” to carry things along,

    See it for what it is, and it becomes less annoying, 

    But on an added note, if people did see the realistic effects of a human body being hit by a bullet they would be horrified not entertained, and the likes of Indiana Jones and James Bond etc, would be seen as brutal killers not heros,
    Bang bang, the guy goes down, (no bits exploding) it’s nice n clean sterile violence,

    If people were shown they would be sickened,
    It disturbs me that some people see some of the most violent characters as heroes

    That’s an unhealthy diet, as is violence in all it’s forms,

    What People Really Want to see is the Good Guy prevail against the odds,
    Because in the heart of most people is that Good Guy, 
    If they had but the courage,

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